The Difference One Word Makes

How many times have you said to someone—

or had someone say to you—

“I’m proud of you.”

It feels good to say it.

And it feels good to hear it.

It’s one of those compliments that lands differently than the rest.

I used to say it all the time to my kids when they were growing up.

“I’m proud of you.”

Believing I was instilling self-confidence and self-worth in them.

And I was.

But somewhere along the way, I heard something that shifted my perspective.

When we only ever hear “I am proud of you,”

we can start to associate our inner well-being with external validation.

We learn—often without realizing it—to wait for someone else to recognize what we’ve done.

And if you’re anything like me, when that recognition doesn’t come,

we can start to question our own worth.

The speaker—whoever it was—suggested changing just one word.

Moving from

“I am proud of you”

to

“I am proud of me.”

And instead of telling our kids, our friends, or the people we love that we are proud of them,

asking them:

Are you proud of yourself?

Because external validation is wonderful.

It boosts our confidence, floods us with feel-good chemicals,

and helps us get through the hard days.

And—

What if we also nurtured those feelings from within?

What if we learned to recognize and honor ourselves in ways that actually matter—ways that build internal character,

so we don’t chase validation…or collapse when it doesn’t come?

What if pride is a flame we grow inside ourselves?

And every time we say,

“I am proud of me,”

it grows a little stronger.

A little steadier.

Lighting our way—permanently.