Built Different

January 23, 2026

I went in again this afternoon to attempt the medical procedure.

I was instructed to drink a lot of water—

that it should make everything okay.

It didn’t.

In fact, today was far more painful and jarring than yesterday.

The kind of pain that leaves you sweating, shaking, light-headed, and in tears.

I had to remain supine on the table for a long time afterward, my body trying to recalibrate.

Multiple times, the doctor apologized to me for what I had just endured—

even though it wasn’t his fault in any way.

He said something about how tough and brave I am.

That most people wouldn’t have tolerated what I did, for as long as I did.

In between the deep breathing and the shaking, I laughed.

I told him,

“If you knew what the last six years of my life have been like, you’d know I can handle just about anything.”

And it’s true.

I am cheerfully determined.

I am driven.

I am resilient beyond belief.

I don’t give up easily.

So even though yesterday left me on the couch for hours longer than I expected, I still showed up today.

I took a different approach.

I tried again.

And still—the procedure failed.

Nothing was completed.

No resolution.

No finish line.

Just the opportunity to adjust course and continue on.

What today really did, though, was shine a spotlight on me.

My ability to breathe through pain—physical and otherwise.

My willingness to intentionally place myself in hard situations.

My persistence.

My stubborn refusal to quit.

And just as importantly, today reminded me of something else.

When I said, “I need to stop,”

I stopped.

I listened to my body.

I set a boundary.

I walked away.

The doctor said,

“You’re built different.”

He’s right.

And, yes—

I am in bed recovering from everything.

It is only 4:33pm.

And that is ok.