The Courage To Be Disliked

I’ve been thinking about the book The Courage to Be Disliked.

It’s funny how a book can land one way when you first read it,

and carry a completely different resonance a couple of years later.

The title always felt a little louder than the book itself.

Adlerian psychology isn’t really about seeking disapproval—

it’s about choosing your own life,

stepping out of old narratives,

and releasing the need to be guided by how others see you.

But at the same time,

there is something true about the courage it takes

to let go of universal approval.

To stand in your values.

To let people have their opinions

without shrinking yourself to fit them.

This year gave me new access to those ideas—

not as nice concepts in a dialogue between a philosopher and a student,

but as lived experience.

Leadership.

Public scrutiny.

Deep loss.

The unmistakable feeling of being watched, evaluated,

supported and criticized in the same breath.

None of it theoretical.

All of it real.

But if I’m honest,

I think the groundwork for this courage was poured long before this year.

Growing up with my name on a building,

being a Tatsuda,

carrying a legacy that people projected all kinds of things onto—

that shaped me early.

They didn’t call me “princess”

or talk about a silver spoon

for me to sit quietly on the sidelines.

It was its own kind of training ground—

to be visible,

to be discussed,

to be judged,

to be misunderstood at times,

and still show up with integrity.

So when I look at the book now,

I see both layers:

the quiet internal work of choosing meaning and responsibility,

and the louder, lived courage

to stand where people can see you,

and live with strength, grace, and cheerful determination

even when people don't like you.

Today, the book feels less like guidance

and more like a reflection—

not of who I was when I read it,

but of who I’ve become.

Courage is a muscle—

quiet, steady, and shaped by what we choose again and again.

Which choices are strengthening yours?