The Next Giant Mountain

Loving the views from Pikes Peak. Elevation: 14,115ft

The day after Jack dropped me off at my hotel and drove himself back to his college campus, I was picked up by a couple of pretty ladies in a Mustang convertible and asked if I wanted to have a good time.

Of course I said yes.

And boy, did we.

Over the last few days, we have thoroughly enjoyed all that the Colorado Springs area has to offer.

Garden of the Gods.

Wildlife sightings.

Rock Ledge Ranch.

Historic cliff dwellings.

Incredible views.

Afternoon rainstorms.

Pool time.

Delicious food.

Sunshine and warm weather.

We even took the Cog Railway to the top of Pikes Peak.

I wasn’t sure how my body would handle moving around and exploring at more than 14,000 feet.

It did great!

I’m in better shape than I give myself credit for.

So naturally, the Manitou Incline and Barr Trail are now on my list of things I want to do.

But something else interesting has happened while I’ve been here.

Something different from the other times I’ve visited Colorado Springs.

I booked our hotel because it had a nice-looking pool.

That’s it.

It turned out to be a high-end resort with exceptional rooms, amenities, service, food, and activities. And spending a few days here has given me a glimpse into a lifestyle I want to live.

Not occasionally as a special treat.

Not while calculating whether I’ve earned it.

Not with guilt, shame, or scarcity attached to it.

I want more of this.

That realization is part of a much larger arc I’ve been experiencing lately. A series of experiences have exposed me to things I want, ways I want to live, and an identity I connect with in ways I haven’t allowed myself to before.

That matters.

From a very early age, I learned not to want more than I had.

I felt shame for some of the things I did want. I learned not to hope for more than I got. To be responsible. Practical. Grateful. To make do.

Somewhere in there, I developed a complicated story around money, lifestyle, wants and needs, responsibility, what I deserve, and what I am capable of making happen for myself.

I am beginning to rewrite that story.

Not because I suddenly believe I am entitled to everything I want.

Because I am finally allowing myself to want things in the first place.

To notice what lights me up.

To experience something beautiful and luxurious and think, I want more of this, instead of immediately finding a reason why I shouldn’t.

And then to ask myself a much more interesting question:

What would I have to build to make this my life?

As I move into this next chapter, these experiences are becoming evidence.

They are showing me what I want.

They are giving me reasons to stretch.

They are helping me decide what deserves my time, my attention, my energy, and my ambition as I begin building whatever comes next.

A few days ago, I stood at more than 14,000 feet and discovered my body was more capable than I had given it credit for.

I suspect the same is true of the rest of me.

And I’m ready to find out.

There is another giant mountain in front of me.

This time, I can’t wait to see how high I can climb.