The Lightness After

Something incredible has happened since last week.

I feel like the massive pressure of grief, layered betrayals, heartbreak, loss, responsibility, and public scrutiny has finally released.

And I feel so light.

In spirit. In energy. In life force.

It’s like I’m no longer trying to live life at the bottom of the ocean.

I feel amazing.

Living through the anniversary of my dad’s death, alongside the anniversary of the day everything I believed was love, friendship, and mutual respect exploded, was terrible.

But I did it.

Passing the school district budget was also a tremendous relief. It gave everyone the chance to move on to the next hard thing with more clarity and direction.

I also received an incredible message from someone who, less than six months ago, had actively worked to remove me from the school board.

They wrote,

“I hope you know we all appreciate you,” and, “You’re thoughtful and compassionate and bring a light that not many people let shine.”

That message touched a special place in my heart because I don’t hear words of appreciation very often, and rarely from people who were once so opposed to the work I was doing.

It reminded me that the hard work has been seen.

That who I am as a person has been seen.

Thoughtfulness and compassion can be difficult qualities to carry in leadership spaces.

They are sometimes mistaken for weakness or dismissed entirely. But they are part of who I am and how I lead.

With head and heart.

With grit and determination.

I am so thankful to feel this lightness today.

I don’t know how long it will last, and that is okay.

What I do know is that a year ago, I never would have imagined I would feel this good today.