I Appreciate You

Has anyone ever said to you, “I appreciate you”?

Not “I appreciate it.”

Not “Thanks for that.”

But you.

It’s a small shift in language, but to me it changes everything.

Most of the time we thank people for what they do —

the favor they did,

the help they offered,

the thing they fixed,

the task they completed.

But saying “I appreciate you” is different.

It’s not about the act.

It’s about the person.

It says:

I see you.

I value you.

I see what you bring into the world.

It acknowledges the human being beneath the action, the service, the gift, or the contribution.

I say it to people often.

“I appreciate you.”

Sometimes I’m even more specific.

I’ll tell someone I appreciate talking with them.

I appreciate hearing their perspective.

I appreciate what they bring to the table.

And something interesting happens when I say it.

People are often a little surprised.

Sometimes they pause.

Sometimes they smile in a way that tells me the words landed somewhere deeper than expected.

That reaction tells me a lot about the social norms we live in.

We’re used to thanking people for what they do.

But we don’t often stop to acknowledge who someone is.

I don’t hear it back very often.

And that’s okay.

I don’t say it because I expect it in return.

I say it because I believe people deserve to know when they are seen.

But today, someone said it to me.

At the end of a hard conversation.

“I appreciate you.”

It caught me off guard.

And I felt emotion rise to my eyes.

Right now, in this season of my life, I receive a lot of criticism and not a lot of appreciation.

I think that’s true for many people.

Which made those three simple words land even more deeply.

Because most of us move through our days hearing more about what we did wrong than what we did right.

And sometimes all it takes is three simple words to remind someone that who they are matters.

I appreciate you.